What you mean to me
by Rotten Panda
Summary: The penguins have returned to their life at the circus, and now that Skipper and Private seem to be closer than ever, Kowalski starts feeling ousted. But why is he suddenly having doubts about his feelings towards his Captain? Kipper.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi there! Well, someone asked me to write a Kipper like, more than three weeks ago, and so I've finally started it. I have to give you some warnings:**

 **a) English is not my first language, and I haven't practiced it in a long time, so you'll probably find lots of mistakes :( Sorry about that.**

 **b) OoC: Although I do love PoM, it has been long since I last watched it. This three weeks I re-watched the movie like ten times and re-watched some episodes, but even with that you may find some OoC.**

 **c) This fic takes place after the MOVIE, and therefore is placed in the Madagascar story-line. Even if it follows the movies, you may found references to the series.**

 **d) The person who requested this fic asked me to include lemon in this… We're still deciding on it, so the rating might change.**

 **That's all. As I said, this is a Kipper fanfic, aka, slash. It will have some Kowalski/Eva, but it's just a part of the plot.**

* * *

 **What you mean to me.**

"Kowalski… Kowalski… Kowalski!"

Said penguin was brought back from his thoughts. He looked back at Skipper, who was giving him a stern glare. "Yes, sir?"

The leader crossed his flippers in front of his chest. Kowalski eyed the other two, who were also staring at him. Private had a worried look in his face, while Rico was giving him a weird glare, just as if he was wearing a wig and a dress.

"You´re spacing out again, soldier!" He returned his attention to his captain. "This is the third time in the week, what´s wrong with you? Stop traveling to la la land!"

"Sorry, Skipper." He shrugged, truly sorry for his lack of attention.

Skipper looked at his second in command. _"Sorry, Skipper? That's all?"_ Usually, Kowalski would have given him an excuse like " _I stayed up late because I was working on a new project which…"_ or something like that, and then start with some scienc-y nonsense that no one but him could possibly understand.

Yet, he was doing any of that. Skipper raised his non-existent eyebrow. Lately, Kowalski had been acting strange, since their return from their "delightful adventure" –as he had called it–; spacing out during the day, thinking in who-knows-what, and definitely not paying attention to some orders. Though he had being distracted before –usually when he was working on something new that would capture all his attention– it had never been to this extent.

"Have you been working on something?" He asked suspiciously. If Kowalski had been working on something why hadn't he told him? Even if it was something dangerous, he would have been interested –danger was his mistress, after all–. What could he be working on for not telling him? Was it that destructive?

"No, sir" Was he telling the truth? "No? Are you sure?" He got closer, trying to intimidate his lieutenant –though with his damn height it wasn't that easy– but the answer was the same.

"Yes sir, I'm sure"

They stayed in silence for some seconds. Skipper was trying to find something that told him that Kowalski was lying, but the brainiac seemed to be completely honest, yet, he could see the bags of his eyes had grown too much in that one week.

"Uhm, Skippah" Private said, feeling that the atmosphere had gotten somewhat dense. "I don't think K'walski would have been able to work on something without any of us noticing, you know… we're in a circus and, there are no many places where he can actually do his… inventions".

Skipper took some more seconds looking at the private, while Rico and Kowalski looked at both, the taller gave the kid a grateful glance.

"Well, I guess you're right young Private" He finally said, smiling at the younger, though it didn't last much. "But anyway, that doesn't change the fact that you're obviously not sleeping well, Kowalski. So, whatever it is what keeps you awake, get rid of it. I don't wanna risk the props; we already had to pay too much for those pure gold wristwatches".

"I don't know why we bought them, in the first place" Said Private, putting one flipper below his peak. "We don´t even have wrists".

"Well no, but we can use them as belts".

To prove the leader's point, Rico coughed his golden belt and put it around his waist, showing it to his companions.

"See? They look classy".

Kowalski had kept away from the conversation, glad it was no longer about him. He was well aware that he had been spacing out too much since they had returned. He had barely slept that week, and though he was getting really exhausted, he couldn't manage to sleep more than three hours at night. He had no idea why he couldn't sleep, since nothing had been disturbing him.

Well, there _was_ something…

Since they had return, even if that hadn't been more than three weeks ago, he had noticed that Skipper and Private were closer than ever. That was good, he thought. Private was finally more than the "cute guy" and Skipper was actually paying more attention to the kid, who was more than happy for being acknowledged by his superior. Kowalski was really happy for him, really. Seeing them both so happy made him happy, too. Yet…

Yet somehow he didn't like it.

He felt like he was gradually being ousted. He had always felt like he and Skipper had the closest relationship, always together in everything. He was the brain of the team, Skipper's right hand, his options guy. He had always been there for him to help him using his intelligence, whenever he needed it.

Until now.

Since their return to the circus, Skipper had been more than glad to give Private some new responsibilities with, of course, his own supervision. At first it was nice, but as days passed by Skipper and Private did more work together, leaving him and Rico to do chores and preparations all alone. And, while he did enjoy being alone sometimes, this was not what he was used to. Skipper had not asked for his help at all during the last two weeks, and he had started to feel some kind of emptiness in his chest –which was stupid, of course, since it was biologically impossible, as he would be dead if he had nothing in his chest–. However, the feeling that he was no longer useful to Skipper was starting to grow and he couldn't help but feel like he was being suffocated every time he saw those two so close –which once again was stupid, since the interaction of his teammates had nothing to do with the capacity of his respiratory system–.

He had tried to ignore it. It wasn't as if he had any other options –which was ironic, considering the fact that HE was the options guy–. But it had gotten harder to do so, and the sickening feeling kept growing making him feel…

"Kowalski!"

… lost.

"What?"

Skipper sighed; he had been calling the guy again without any response.

Kowalski noticed they were now alone; the other two must have been dismissed while he was deep in his thoughts. Although he knew the answer, he asked anyway. "Where are Rico and Private?"

"They've already gone to sleep!" He said, and exhausted tone evident in his voice. "Just how you and I should be doing right now, soldier. Now come on, you need some sleep."

He followed Skipper, who was being actually nice with him, not punishing him nor slapping him to get him out of his dreams. But he was most probably just studying him, trying to get inside of his mind to see what the real problem was.

They arrived to their car train, founding Rico playing with some explosives and Private trying to get them away from him.

"Rico, you've already had your fun, wait until our next show" The psycho let out an "aw" and left his "toys" aside. "Alright boys, time to sleep. Make sure you rest nicely, 'cause we've got lots of work for tomorrow". Kowalski sighed, knowing that last part was meant for him, and laid on their "bed". It was a big mattress, in which the four of them slept next to each other. He placed himself between Rico and Private, noticing that Skipper's pillow was next to the other side of the younger. "And, lights out!"

Darkness covered the carriage. Kowalski rested one of his flippers in his stomach, looking up at the ceiling even though he couldn't see anything in the darkness. He closed his eyes, really trying to fall asleep. He was tired, but he was still very much awake. He tried to think in something, and started drawing equations in his mind, solving them as if he had his abacus. Unfortunately, that didn't help, and soon he discovered he wasn't even paying attention to his own mind. Maths aside, he had no idea of what else he could do. Soon he was able to listen to Rico's soft snores and Private's soft breathing. He tried to concentrate on both of them, thinking it may work as a lullaby, but to no avail.

He opened his eyes as an idea suddenly crossed his mind. Unfortunately, it required getting out, which was something risky, almost dangerous, considering that Skipper wanted him to sleep.

Closing his eyes again, he tried to concentrate on any sound his ears could catch. Again, the only sound was Rico's snores and Private's breathing. That wasn't enough. Rico was a deep sleeper, just like him, so he was no problem. And though Private wasn't, as long as he didn't make much sound the kid would not wake up.

The problem was Skipper.

He was more of a light sleeper, always ready for any possible situation –though Kowalski was sure it was just some kind of paranoia probably caused by anxiety–. He had to be extremely cautious, and make sure the captain was really asleep.

After what seemed hours –though it was probably no more than fifty minutes, Einstein's statement of time being an illusion now making much more sense– he finally managed to hear Skipper's soft breathing, too.

He sat up, looking at Skipper's figure next to Private. He looked at his chest moving peacefully upwards and downwards in a calm rhythm. He kept like that for some minutes, not daring to move an inch, frightened of waking him up. Once he was sure Skipper was indeed asleep, he moved out of the mattress with extreme caution, walking towards one corner where many drawings, plans and equations were placed without order. Trying his best to make no sound, he took a small laptop –though it was still too big for him, almost his same height– and walked to the door, gently sliding it just enough for him to get out, and closed it behind him.

He looked around; making sure no one was there. It was almost impossible, as they had stopped the train in the middle of a small valley, with no humans close. All the animals were sleeping, finally having some rest after their magnificent performance.

Even like that, he didn't wanted to risk been caught, and he climbed to the ceiling –almost falling more than once, since it wasn't that easy with his laptop in one flipper–. Finally, he turned it on and stared at it for some time.

 _What am I doing?_ What was he thinking when he got up? Skipper could wake up at any minute and if he noticed he wasn't sleeping he would give him a harsh punishment and he would be even more away from him.

Wait, what?

He wanted to slap himself for those thoughts. Why was he thinking in that? Skipper was still the same. It was just something temporary. Soon, everything would be back to normal and he would once again be next to his best friend, receiving orders from him and helping him in everything again.

Right?

He put his head in his flippers. Oh, he was so tired, yet he couldn't sleep. Why was this bothering him so much? He didn't know what to do about those… feelings. He was good in everything else, maths, physics, chemistry… but, feelings? He wasn't good with that. He was sensitive, very much in fact, but he didn't really know what to make with it. Out of the four, he was probably the one who had it more difficult.

Private was pretty good at it, actually. He showed his feeling and was good understanding others. Rico didn't have too much to struggle with; he would just let out his feelings, though it was usually dangerous when he did so. Even Skipper showed his emotions and although he seemed to exaggerate them sometimes, he was still better than him.

When faced with strong feelings, Kowalski would try to dismiss it and work on something, distracting his mind of whatever was disturbing him. It usually worked, but sometimes when it didn't he could be even more dangerous that Rico. He had a tendency of "exploding", sometimes screaming of frustration and rage.

This time, though, he didn't feel rage, and that was even more frustrating. He could get rid of something that made him angry, but he couldn't get rid of something that he loved. Love was… something too difficult for him. It confused him, because he wasn't sure what to do about it. When Private "died", he was confused, unsure on what to do. His interaction with Eva had proven that he was no really experienced in that topic.

Eva.

He looked down at his laptop. Right, he had escaped from the carriage and from Skipper to talk with her. Why? He didn't even know why. He had done it before, in other nights like that when he couldn't sleep. Of course, he had been calling her a lot lately. Surprisingly, every time he had called her she had answered, not having work to do at the moment. They didn't talk much, though. At least not her, he was the one that would talk the most, though he had to admit he mostly said nonsense, since he got nervous at her silence. Actually, he wondered why she only ended their video calls when Classified told her to get back to work.

He had discovered that those conversations didn't really help him feel better, as the next day the sickening sensation would be there again; but at least while they talked he was distracted enough of those thoughts, his mind busy trying to say something intelligent to his crush.

He wasn't aware he had already started to move his flippers across the keyboard. Moving automatically, since he had learned what keys he should press –still not knowing how to read, but trying his best at understanding how to use it without needing to–. When he snapped out of his thoughts, he noticed he was already calling the owl. He immediately panicked. When he called, he usually took his time to prepare himself for the conversation, but right now he was just calling her without even knowing what he was going to say! He was about to hang up, when the screen had already changed, and the owl was looking directly at him, a small smile showing in his beak.

"Oh! Eva!" He squeaked. "Uh, I…"

"It's that penguin again?"

Despite not being able to see him, he could tell that was definitely Short Fuse. Eva narrowed his eyes at her side, where the seal presumably was. Kowalski shrugged.

"Oh, I'm sorry… You've got work to do so, uhm, I guess I'll go…"

"It's alright. We are taking a break" She interrupted, then looked at him with some surprise. "Did something happen?"

He looked at himself, trying to find something out of place, but everything seemed just fine. "Uhm, no, why do you ask?"

The owl's face softened. "What time is it?" "Well…" He looked at the sky and sighed. "It must be almost 2 am…"

"And shouldn't you be sleeping?"

He coughed a bit, trying to recover his voice. "Well, yeah, I mean…" He looked down, nervously poking the tips of his flippers. "I _tried_ to, but I just couldn't manage to do so, therefore… I thought I could talk to you a bit…"

His voice had sounded like a squeak at the last sentence. Eva didn't answered immediately, and the penguin didn't move his gaze from the ceiling under him. It had been something stupid, indeed. But it was true; he really wanted to talk with someone.

"I see" She said finally. He looked at her once again. "But I think you should try harder, it's not good for you not to sleep".

Blessed Turing's pants, he was oh so glad he was a penguin. If he were a human, he would be definitely flushing deep red. "Don't need to worry, Miss Eva, I'll go to sleep soon"

"Well I hope so" Oh, dear Volta's pile. Was she worrying about him? "Because those eye bags are getting really unattractive"

His eyes opened wide. Embarrassed, he tried to hide his face in his flippers.

"I am sorry" The owl said, seeing the poor guy struggling with her statement. "I didn't mean to scare you, you're still cute"

"Oh… uh…" He looked once again at her. He was smiling, but his eyes showed he was still nervous. "Do you…" he coughed again, trying to hide his embarrassment "Do you really think I am… cute?"

"Well, yes" She smiled at him. He definitely was cute, not noticing she was just joking about him being unattractive, just wanting to ease the topic about his lack of sleep.

He coughed once again. _I should have brought some water…_ "Uh, thank you… I…" Oh, feelings. How he just hated feelings. Even if she was just seeing him in a screen, he feared she could somehow feel the heat that seemed to be getting out of his head, where his blood was right then. He looked anywhere but the screen. "I also think you are… uhm, really, really cute"

Each word had sounded even higher pitched than the previous. He suddenly felt dizzy, most probably because of the amount of blood in his head.

He suddenly heard a snort and an "aww", and he turned his attention to the screen once again. Those two were there, too? Oh, for Bohr's sake, there it goes what remained of his dignity.

Eva cleared her throat, glaring once again at her right side where Classified and Corporal were. Kowalski could hear Classified coughed just like he had done before, and Eva return her gaze to him.

"Uh, I am sorry… I…"

"Thank you" She said with her normal, emotionless tone, but with a cute smile on her face. Still embarrassed, he smiled her back.

"Uh, sorry for interrupting" Classified appeared standing next to Eva, who moved a bit so the front camera of her computer could show the wolf to Kowalski. "But, we have work to do so I think you will have to end your conversation at another moment"

Work? At that hour? Well, that was the life of a secret agent, apparently. The leader stayed there, looking at Kowalski through the screen, and not noticing Eva glaring at him. Kowalski moved his gaze to him, then to her, and then to him again. It worked, since the wolf turn to Eva, just to find a serious frown directed to him. He understood that message, too.

"Oh, right. Goodbye, penguin."

Once he was out of Kowalski's view –though he was sure he and the other two were still there– Eva turned to him and gave him an apologetical look. "I am sorry, but I have work to do"

"It's ok" He said. It was fine; he had already had too much embarrassment for one night. "You've… things to do and… there are animals who need your help"

She smiled. "Goodbye, Kowalski"

Before he could say anything else, the call was over. She had said his name with that beautiful accent of hers and it had been enough to left him happy. He stayed a little more in there, still registering the conversation. He felt humiliated for had being heard by the North Wind guys saying so… _lovely_ stuff, but somehow he was happy. Eva had called him cute. He was cute, he knew that, after all he was a penguin and penguins are cute. But to have someone like Eva saying it was a nice sensation. Usually, no one he actually knew would call him cute. Private was the one who received those flatteries, especially from Skipper.

His chest suddenly felt heavy. He was just right and happy and he just had to think of that. Why did it hurt? Private was cute. He was the cutest of them. There was nothing wrong in acknowledging that, even he had done it.

Then why did it hurt so much?

Not feeling fine, he decided to return with his team. Being extremely careful, he entered once again in the train, leaving the laptop in the corner it had been before and climbing to the mattress once again, careful of to not waking any of them. He was really exhausted now, and he was sure he now would be able to sleep.

Yet, he couldn't help but looked at his side. Private's happy sleeping form next to him. The only thing between him and Skipper. The ache in his chest grew. He closed his eyes, trying hard to have some hours of sleep.

Yet his mind didn't let him find some rest.

* * *

 _ **To be continued…**_

 **Thanks for reading, and I apologize if you found many mistakes. I'll correct it, sometime… Anyway, thanks for reading! :)**

 **(A/N: I know I also owe a KoJu to someone… I'm working on that too, promise!)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! Thanks a lot to the people who read this, really. And sorry it took me so long to update :)**

 **Also, sorry guys, but romance will have to wait. This chapter is full of my nonsense depressive babbling :(**

* * *

"Rise and shine, boys!"

"Mornin', Skippah" Greeted Private, while Rico mumbled something that may or may not have been a 'good morning'. Skipper smiled at his soldiers, until he noticed one was still on bed.

"Kowalski! I said rise and shine! Come on man, wake up!"

Nothing.

Weird. Kowalski was usually the first one to get up. Even as a deep sleeper, just hearing Skipper's voice was enough to wake him up.

"Uhm, K'walski…" Private and Rico approached the other bird. He was lying on his back, with the pillow over his face, covering it completely.

Rico immediately panic, making gestures of how Kowalski must had been suffocated by someone using the pillow. However, Private just took it and looked down at his friend.

"I don't think so, Rico" He said tossing the pillow aside. "He's still breathing, he's just sleeping".

The younger's tone gave away that he was glad his friend was fine, but Skipper didn't seem so happy. He got close to his lieutenant and tried to wake him by gently shaking him. Soon it worked, and Kowalski started opening his eyes. The first thing he saw was the harsh glare he was receiving from his captain. He immediately sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying hard to be fully awake.

"Sorry, Skipper" He said with a tired face once he noticed he was the only one still in bed.

The leader was going to say something, but was interrupted by Private as he approached the taller penguin. "Are you ok, K'walski? You don't look so good".

Kowalski stopped rubbing his eyes and looked down at his friend, forcing a smile. "I'm fine, Private" He assured standing up. "I just overslept".

"At least you have finally found some sleep". Said Skipper smiling. "We've got a lot of work for today."

Just before leaving the car train, they ate some fish. According to Skipper, breakfast was the most important meal of the day and they needed to eat a lot to stay focused and in form.

But as he said that, Private couldn't help but shot constant glances at Kowalski. He was barely eating, and he could swore the analyst was pushing some of his fish towards Rico –who was definitely not paying attention, too caught up with the amount of fish he was eating–.

Kowalski said he was fine, but something told Private otherwise. This was not the first time he had seen him eating less. At first he hadn't thought much about it; after all, Kowalski was not much of an eater, unlike them. Also, he was rather thin, unlike them, who were more on the husky side –well, probably Skipper and Rico, Private could be described as chubbier–.

But now that he was paying attention, Kowalski seemed to be even thinner than before. His eye bags only making him look even worse; almost as if he was a zombie.

But it was not only the lack of food and sleep, it was something else. He had been off the last few days. Private noticed that Kowalski had been distant, which was something he found hurtful, since they were really close.

Was he sick? Private had never felt sick, nor had he seen any of his brothers sick. However, he could tell Kowalski was definitely not in a good state. Perhaps he should go see Dr. Mankiewicz?

However, there was something else that was bothering him. Kowalski was intelligent, _really_ intelligent. If he was sick, he would… no, he _should_ know it, right? Then why was he insisting in him being alright?

Neither Skipper nor Rico had said anything at all. Was he just being paranoid?

"Ah, nothing like some fresh fish to begin the day" Skipper said smiling "Come on boys, let's move out!"

And with that, they all got out and walked towards the first car train. "Alright men" Skipper said, flippers in his back. "We have to get to San Francisco by tomorrow afternoon. Kowalski! How long will it take us to arrive?"

Making some quick movements with his abacus, he calculated and answered "At our usual speed, we should arrive before 0400 hours, sir".

Skipper considered this for a few seconds. "Usual speed, eh?" He smirked. "Boys, I'm sure we can arrive before that, so let's do our best to do so."

Kowalski frowned a bit at that statement. "Sir, I don't think…"

"Come on! We sure can arrive at tomorrow morning and have some fun before work!"

"Oh, can we visit the Golden Gate, Skippah?" Private asked excited.

"Of course, young Private. We are going to test some explosives, right Rico?"

Both guys seemed excited, which made Kowalski hesitate. He honestly didn't think he would be able to work at a better speed. He hadn't slept that much last night. After returning to the car train and seeing Skipper sleeping peacefully… he had just seemed so far away at that moment. The smart penguin felt his heart drowning, felling oh so lonely. The hole in his chest growing bigger, as if something was eating him from the inside. It hurt so much he couldn't help it when he started sobbing. It first began as soft whimpers, but as they got louder he had to use his pillow to silence them. In the end, he had finally fallen asleep, but he hadn't rested a bit.

But Rico and Private appeared to be fine with Skipper's plan. Considering it a bit, maybe it wasn't a bad idea. If they arrived earlier, he could have some rest before duty, right?

Private noticed Kowalski's unsure expression, and was about to say something when the tall guy finally nodded in agreement. Skipper of course was happy with that, and immediately gave the order to start.

Even if he felt uneasy about Kowalski's state, Private couldn't deny that he was having fun. He loved this work; it was actually really nice and was soon distracted by it. Also, Kowalski looked like he was doing just fine, so maybe he had just overreacted. Right?

They were all doing their best to go maximum speed, but while Skipper, Rico and Private were doing fine and having fun, Kowalski was internally suffering. He was exhausted, and he was doing a great effort to keep the peace. His body was aching, and soon his head started feeling dizzy. The thought of telling Skipper he felt bad crossed his mind, but soon dismissed it. He could do this; no need to ruin the other's plans. After all, it wasn't the first time they didn't sleep for a couple of days. He just had to concentrate.

So he said nothing, and continued doing his work the best way he could. Like most of his actions during the last few days, he was working in automatic. His mind was not focused, and was more concentrated in not fainting. He kept telling himself he could do it, making a real effort to hide his condition; however, as the night arrived he found it harder to do so.

So when Skipper announced they were close and he could already see the city, Kowalski felt himself relaxing. He could already see the sun rising. He just had to keep it a bit more.

"Excelente, boys!" Skipper said proudly when they stopped the train. "We arrived just in time to have some-"

 _Thud._

The sound of something hitting the ground interrupted him. Skipper turned towards the source of the sound in a second.

"K'walski!"

Private, who was the closest to his teammate, was the first one to get next to him. He had suddenly fallen and his face had hit the ground. Hard.

"Man down!" Skipper and Rico jumped from their place and approached them as Private rolled his teammate. His eyes were close and he had a tired expression. Skipper quickly got next to his lieutenant and shook him a bit. "Kowalski, speak to me man!"

When he didn't get an answer, his face twisted in fear for a second. "Medic! Rico!"

The explosives expert hurriedly checked his teammate. He had a minor injury in the head, most probably caused by the fall, but other than that he seemed to be fine. Rico shrugged. He was good with injuries since he himself usually got lots of them, but this was something different and he had no idea how to help his friend. He looked at Skipper with a worried expression.

"What do we do, Skippah?" Asked Private, the same expression in his face.

"We have to take him to a doctor, pronto".

Although his voice sounded the same as always, there was some hurry in it. He was worried, but seeing the other two so scared, he knew he had to act cool before they panicked. They needed to act NOW.

"Shouldn't we take him to Mr. Mankiewicz, then?"

Skipper nodded. "Private, go tell him we need him ASAP. Rico, help me".

Private slid out quickly making his way towards the train carriage. Skipper then took Kowalski in his arms as Rico made sure to clear his way.

"Mr. Mankiewicz!" Private screamed once he was in front of the carriage, as he knocked desperately. "Mr. Mankiewicz! We need your help!"

Alex was the first one to wake up. What time was it? Had they arrived already? He looked around until he finally understood what the penguin was saying from the outside. He glanced at the others who were just waking up as well and opened the door. "What's wrong?"

"K'walski…" He said panting, trying to catch his breath. "K'walski is wrong."

The other mammals looked down at the penguin, not really understanding what he meant by that. But before they could ask anything, Rico appeared, being followed by Skipper, still with Kowalski in his arms.

"What happened?" Asked Gloria.

"Check him." Skipper said immediately.

"Okay but, what happened?" Insisted Melman as Alex took the penguin and put him inside.

"I don't know!" Skipper said. There was no need of all this babbling, he wanted them to check on his lieutenant, pronto.

"He suddenly fainted and fall to the ground" Private said, playing nervously with his flippers.

Rico nodded and imitated the way his friend had fallen, emphasizing the way his head had practically kissed the ground, making Gia gasp. "Poor thing…"

"Is he going to be alright?" Asked Stefano, looking at the small bird with worry.

"I think so. Did he show any symptoms before fainting?"

"No"

"Ah-ah"

"Actually…" Private said, lowering his gaze. "He has being eating less and… he has problems sleeping…"

Both Skipper and Rico looked intensely at Private. Skipper wanted to ask when he started noticing it, but Rico soon nodded, remembering how the last few days Kowalski had looked tired.

"It must be that, he is just exhausted" Melman said, everyone giving a sigh of relief.

"So, he's just tired?" Asked Private.

"It seems so… I think he just needs some more food and rest. As for his head, he may need something for the pain, but he's going to be fine".

Everyone shrugged. "Whoa, you guys scared me" Alex said smiling. "I thought something horrible had happened".

"Yeah, you got us all scared" Marty said, examining the penguin. Skipper frowned at that, not pleased that the zebra was looking so close at his unconscious soldier.

"What is with all the commotion?"

Julien appeared in Sonia's back, Maurice and Mort next to the bear. However, soon the other animals had gathered around the carriage. They had heard Private's screams and Rico's no so subtle warnings of get out of the way.

"Did something happen?"

"What's wrong?"

Before Skipper could say something, Alex stepped in. "Okay, guys, everything is okay now. Don't need to worry, go back to sleep, we have everything under control".

"Are you sure?" Ernestina insisted.

"Yeah, don't worry" Alex said, almost pushing everyone away. "Everything is under control people" Gloria added.

Finally, almost everyone had left, except of course, of the lemurs and the bear. "You cannot be hiding things to the king, that's outrageous!"

"This is not of your business, Ringtail." Skipper said, trying his best to act cool. Honestly, he was not in the mood of dealing with the lemur.

"Oh, come on! Let me see what you're hiding!" He said jumping into the car train.

Rico growled when he saw the intruder approaching Kowalski, and was about to do something when Skipper stopped him. As much as he would like to see Rico getting rid of him, he needed to stay calm.

"Eh, why is everyone so interested in a sleeping penguin?" Asked Julien, looking down at the bird.

"I don't think he is sleeping, Julien" Maurice said once he was next to him. "He looks more like he's sick".

Skipper frowned again. Maurice could tell Kowalski was sick by just seeing him, how could he, his captain, had not noticed he was? That was wrong. He should have noticed it; he had been next to him all the time.

"Mhm…" They heard Kowalski mumbling. "Eva…"

Everyone looked surprised. Skipper almost gasped. _Really, Kowalski?_

"Eh, who's Eva?" Asked Julien again, though none of the larger mammals knew the answer.

"Oh, she's Kowalski's girlfriend" Said Private, almost excitedly, while Rico gave out a snort. Skipper glared angrily at him. "Private, first of all, do not answer questions to anyone, you could compromise us and our secrets" He said almost harshly. "Second, she's _not_ Kowalski's girlfriend, she's just a crush".

"Sorry, sir" He said lowering his gaze. "But they did kiss…"

"Enough" Interrupted the leader. Really, the least he needed was his soldiers falling in love. "She's just a... friend of us. Now, if you'll excuse us, we're taking our man so he can have some rest."

"Oh, I can take care of him!" Julien said once Skipper had taken the penguin again. "I'm a really good doctor!"

Gloria looked at him frowning. "You're not"

"Your Majesty, we should probably let it go, he'll be just fine"

Julien huffed, but finally accepted and finally got out with his girlfriend and servants. Skipper sighed, glad he was gone. "Come on, boys"

"Come back if he needs anything" Said Melman while they walked out.

They put Kowalski again in the bed, making sure he was comfortable. Skipper sighed and looked at Rico adding more and more pillows around his friend. Private approached him, lowering his gaze.

"Skippah, I'm sorry I didn't say anything about K'walski" He said "I didn't think it was that bad".

Skipper looked down at the private. He couldn't get angry at him when he, the skipper, hadn't even noticed it. And even if Private had told him, he would have probably dismissed it saying something like " _Come on, Private, we don't get sick"._

"Don't worry, Private" He said ruffling his head. "It's not your fault, and Kowalski is going to be just fine".

The kid didn't seem so convinced, but before he said anything Rico shouted a "Ta-dah!" Kowalski was now surrounded by pillows. It looked like the most comfortable nest in the world.

"Oh, looks comfy"

"Yeah, good work Rico"

The bird nodded and high one-d his friends. Private smiled at the sight of Kowalski sleeping. He still looked tired, but hopefully he would rest enough to feel better. Then, he remembered the other problem: eating.

"Perhaps we should bring him something nice to eat?"

"Sounds like a plan, young Private" Said skipper. "Rico, you can make him some sushi".

He nodded enthusiastically. He loved doing sushi, and now that Kowalski needed to eat correctly he could do a lot more than usual. It could be a sushi party.

"I guess Golden Gate will have to wait…" Murmured Private. What a pity, Kowalski would have loved to go.

"Ow…"

Skipper frowned, though it was just for a second, and then forced himself to smile. "Cheer up, boys. That bridge is not going anywhere; we sure can come back another time."

The two half smiled and nodded. Private then got next to Kowalski, looking at him to make sure he was comfortable. Skipper eyed both of his men. They hadn't had some sleep for already more than 24 hours, and they still had work to do for today's act.

"You guys should have some sleep, too."

"What about you, Skippah?"

"I have some things to do. And I'm still not tired enough to sleep"

"You sure?"

Skipper smirked. "Yes, Private. Now come on, I need you all to be one hundred percent active later".

"Aye-aye" They said simultaneously. Rico moved Kowalski to make some space in the pillow nest, joining him along with Private. Skipper gave one more glance to his guys before going out and closing the door.

Once he was out, his smiled went off. He felt angry. Really angry. It wasn't because Private had said nothing, nor because Rico hadn't noticed it. Was it because Kowalski hadn't mentioned it? No, that wasn't either.

It was because HE hadn't noticed it.

Part of him wanted to be angry at the others, but it was stupid. He was the skipper, he was the one supposed to check on his boys and notice anything that went wrong with them. And he had just failed doing so.

But how? Now that he thought about it, Kowalski had actually showed many symptoms of something going wrong. He had dismissed the lack of sleeping, but apparently it was worse than he had first assumed. About the eating part, he did have noticed Kowalski skipping some meals, but hadn't think much about that; thinking he might had been doing some nerdy thing. It hadn't been until he had picked him up that he noticed how light and thin he was. How did he lost so much weight in only two weeks? How come he hadn't noticed it?

No. He HAD noticed. He just hadn't acknowledged it. After all, it was Kowalski. If it had been Rico or Private, he would have made something about it. But Kowalski was different. Somehow, Skipper had gotten used to assume the brainiac was fine. Private was young and needed someone to watch over him, so did Rico, though for completely different reasons. But Kowalski? Yeah, he sometimes was kind of a nut job, but was generally mature enough to take care of himself. That's why the idea of him having problems was hard to believe.

He shook his head. Feeling guilty wouldn't help him right now. He needed to think on what he was going to do. Kowalski needed to eat, and he also needed to sleep. Maybe they could take turns to check on him and make sure he was not working himself out. And…

He sighed in frustration. Fortunately, he had already walked away from the train. Other reason for his denial was that if he worried about Kowalski, he would have to worry about Rico and Private, too. Private, specially, was really fond of the science guy. As much as he hated to admit it, Kowalski was more emotionally supporting than himself. While he played the "dad" part, Kowalski played more the brother part.

It wasn't his fault. As a leader, he needed to act cool and seriously, not once wearing his heart on the sleeve. Kowalski, and the other hand, was usually more open. The guy would constantly ruffle the kids head, give reassuring smiles, and point out his cuteness. Also, Private was a curious soul, and Kowalski was the one who usually explained him things. If Kowalski felt bad, surely the cute guy would felt bad for him.

Rico wasn't excused. They were completely different, but they were really close friends. Rico loved most of Kowalski's ideas and inventions –mostly because they tend to be violent and dangerous– and Kowalski was always glad to have Rico's help when building them.

Skipper had to admit that Kowalski played a big part in the team, more than the options guy. Without him, Skipper would not be able to give all that tender love Private liked, and he would not be able to give some healthy entertainment for Rico.

He massaged his forehead. He was acting just like Kowalski: overthinking everything and making nothing out of it. He was probably just being paranoid. Some sleep, more food, less work and his lieutenant would be good as new.

…

But.

He was still worried.

Why was he now thinking this much? Kowalski would be just fine; the giraffe had already checked him. Then, why did his gut told him otherwise? It was as if he was missing something. What if Kowalski had something worse?

He took his flipper to his chest. It was not only his gut. His _heart_ insisted in something going wrong.

He returned to the train and opened the door. The three were still sleeping, Private slightly cuddling onto Kowalski, while Rico was using him as a pillow –of course, surrounded by them and the psycho had decided to use the scientist –. Skipper approached them, moving Rico so he wasn't squashing his friend. When he did it, he stared at Kowalski. He did look thin, too thin.

He stayed there, looking at his best friend. He looked so bad, that Skipper's chest started aching. He needed to help him, for everyone's sake.

Gently stroking the egghead´s feathers, he waited for them to wake up. No way would he be able to sleep, knowing his friend needed him.

* * *

 **Once again, I'm sorry if you found lots of mistakes (it's 2 am so I guess you sure found lots of them). And thanks for reading!**

 **Zyar: OMG thanks a lot :) I know, the fandom is kind of dead... but I'll try my best to work this one out. (? Again, thank you for your nice words.**

 **abiskibita1: Hope you like this one :) thanks**

 **VivianShadowGirl: I love Kowalski too, he's just so cute, isn't he? Anyway, thanks a lot :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ugh, this took me so long... I'm sorry, so many things have happened. But finally, here it is!**

 **Okay, so again no much romance, but next chapter will surely be more kipper than... whatever this is. Anyway, thanks for reading!**

* * *

"Ugh…" Kowalski opened his eyes, looking at the ceiling. He felt dizzy and sore, and he was confused for a moment at where he was. Everything was so blurry…

Also, was there something in his belly?

"K'walski?" Private asked when he saw the other bird moving. Skipper and Rico –who had been almost falling asleep again, and almost fell over when he got up– approached the bed and looked down at the guy.

"Kowalski? You alright, man?"

"Ugh… why are my belly feathers wet?"

"Oh, that. Rico used you as a pillow"

"Ugh…" He closed his eyes again, taking a big breath then sighed loudly.

The others look at each other. Kowalski, who was usually such a perfectionist, was saying nothing about the fact that not only had Rico squished him in his sleep, but had also been drooling on him. The demolition expert shrugged, unsure if it was a good thing Kowalski hadn't glared at him angrily. Weird…

"How you feeling, Kowalski?"

"I feel like I just run the marathon…" He took his flipper to his forehead as a painful expression appeared in his face. "My head…"

"Eat something, you'll feel better"

That was more an order than a suggestion. Private help him up as Rico handed him a plate of sushi. He ate in silence, still feeling kind of confused about everything. When he finished, however, the headache had lessened a lot.

"You feel any better?" Asked Private. Big worried eyes looking up at him.

"Yeah…" He rubbed his eyes. Sweet mother of science, how long had he been sleeping? "What happened?"

"You lost conscious when we arrived" Skipper shot. He sounded upset, though he was apparently trying to make his voice soft.

"Ah, right… my apologies. I guess I'm still kinda… out of it?"

"Yeah, we've already noticed that" Ok, so Skipper was indeed upset, apparently at him. Better not push things too much. "But at least you're better now. Just keep resting; we've got work to do."

"I can-"

"Negatory" He crossed his flippers to emphasize his decision –as if raising his voice hadn´t been enough–. "You're staying here, and Private's making sure you are. Rico and I are going to the show."

He shrugged and nodded. Seriously, Skipper seemed so upset. But why? Was he upset at him? Well, he did have reasons to be, but still. When he had done something to make him mad, Skipper always made sure to make it clear. If he hadn't, that just meant one thing.

Private conversation.

Oh how he hated them. When Skipper wanted to "have a little talk with him", it was nor little nor even a talk. It was just a lecture. A long lecture in which he just stood there, saying nothing more than "yes sir" a few times, just to make clear he was indeed listening.

Rico waved goodbye, and he and Skipper disappeared through the door, leaving it slightly open. He turned to Private, who had been looking at him with something he would just describe as a mix of worry and curiousness.

"Go with them if you want, I'm not going anywhere" Before the younger could reply, he added "And even if I wanted to, I'm still too dizzy to go out"

"But, Skippah said I should stay here. And besides, what if you need anything? You´re still injured."

The brainy bird raised a nonexistent eyebrow. "Injured? I'm not injured Private, I'm just tired and kinda sore."

The young penguin looked worried for a second, then took his flipper to his own head, near his forehead. Kowalski imitated him, and once he touched himself he felt the pain. Oh, so he was indeed injured.

"Well, that explains the headache."

"So, I better stay here with you." The kid said with a smile. "Also, I'm a bit tired myself, so it's no problem for me staying here this time."

Kowalski nodded in silence, and drop his head back to the pillow. He didn't know why, but Private felt suddenly uncomfortable. Kowalski was apparently not in the mood of talking, and even if he were Private didn't know what to say. Asking about his lack of sleep and eating wasn't something he would like to bring right now.

But, it was not just because they wouldn't talk. Kowalski seemed... upset? Well, of course if he hadn't had some sleep and food during the last days, and had also hit his head like that he would be upset too.

But Kowalski seemed upset at him.

Had he done something? He didn't recall messing with Kowalski's things. He hadn't eaten his candy, either.

Then why did he look so serious and uncomfortable with him?

"Uhm, K'walski…"

The older one had been apparently thinking deep in something, as he seemed surprised when he heard the other's voice. He turned to look at him.

"… yes?"

"Are you…" Okay, now that Kowalski was looking back at him his confidence had decided to go away. He was almost throwing daggers at him with those eyes. Whatever thoughts he had interrupted, they were surely important. "Are you feeling any better?"

 _What the deuce, Private? You were supposed to ask if he was mad at you!_

"Ah, sure, I guess." Oh, poor thing. He must had been spacing out again, and he had worried poor young Private. "I mean, the headache has lessened a lot, and so has the dizziness."

Private was surprised when Kowalski changed his stern gaze to a soft look, and even more he was relieved when his voice sounded calm and comforting.

"Oh, that's good." He smiled, and so did the older bird.

"You said you were tired, so… why don't you lie here with me?"

"Oh, you…" Really? So, he wasn't mad at him? "Are you ok with that?"

"Yeah, sure" He patted the mattress next to him, inviting the young penguin. Don't wasting a second, he joined his brother and let his head rest on the pillow.

"So…" Kowalski began "How did I hit my head?"

"Oh, you fell when you passed out"

"I see… So, I guess we couldn't go see San Francisco at his best."

"Well, no, but maybe we can come back another time."

The lieutenant smiled. "Maybe we can convince Skipper to go tomorrow morning, though you should have some rest so you wake up early if he agrees."

Despite that being a wonderful idea, Private doubted. "But, will you be okay?"

"Yeah, I'm feeling much better now… we only need some rest."

Private nodded smiling; he did look much better than he had before. "Very well then, 'night K'walski"

"Night, Private… "

* * *

Skipper rested his head in his flippers. Rico was down, preparing the cannon for every launch of those two hippies, so he was looking down at the show all by himself. That felt weird. Usually, either Private or Kowalski were there with him.

He sighed. He would have to talk to Kowalski in private about his weird attitude. However, unlike most of the times, this time he didn't know what to expect about it. What was he going to do? Order him to eat and sleep? He had already done that, but that was not the point.

He wanted to know why.

Why… why what? Why was he acting distant? Why was he spacing out so much? Why was he torturing himself like that? Why had he said nothing?

… Why was he doing this to him?

He let out a groan of frustration. He couldn't admit it –probably, he didn't even notice it– but the main reason this was bothering so much was, that he wasn't Kowalski's priority that moment.

It sounded so ridiculous, that probably that was the reason he couldn't noticed it. But he had grown used to Kowalski always paying attention to him, always been there when needed, always alert at everything, always next to him…

But right now, he seemed to be anywhere but near. And worst of all, Skipper felt bad not only for not having his right hand man, but also because he felt so lost. When had he become so dependent of his lieutenant? He was the Skipper, and he was supposed to know what to do always. But…

 _What would I do without him?_

He almost slapped himself for thinking of such thing, if it weren't for the fact that he actually started thinking about it. Okay, maybe he could handle it, but things would be so different… Kowalski was the person in which he could relay the most, always.

As he looked down again, he noticed the show was almost over. He got up and made his decision: for his team's sake, he would fix whatever matter was going on with Kowalski.

* * *

"Private?"

"…"

No response. Great. Kowalski quickly got up and approached his laptop, then got out in silence, not wanting to wake up his teammate.

 _Good thing he was indeed tired._

He hid behind a near tree, where he could still look at the circus in a perfect angle, so he could return just in time before the others came back.

This was totally wrong. If Private were to wake up, he would probably panic at him missing, or get angry at him for leaving –or both, most probably–. But, even worse, if Skipper returned earlier, not only him but also Private would be in problems.

He sighed. He was just being paranoid, better hurry up and enjoy the opportunity. He turned on the laptop, opening the navigator immediately.

Huh, the signal didn't seemed to be working that much. Well, his solar powered wifi modem was farther than usual. Also, he hadn´t checked his mobile power source this days. It's not like there was something wrong with it… but Skipper insisted in him checking it from time to time, just to make sure it wouldn't blow up.

He suddenly heard a sound that make him closed the laptop immediately. He stayed still, waiting for any other sound…

Someone was approaching. He could barely hear them, so he was most probably someone small and light…

A penguin.

He quickly got up and returned to the car train. He left the laptop in place and was going to return next to Private when someone entered.

"Hey! Brainy penguin!"

"Julien?" He whispered. He almost had a heart attack.

"Yeah, it is m-! Mhm! Mhm!" Kowalski put his flippers over his mouth, silencing him. "Shh, Private is sleeping. What do you want?"

Once he was freed, the lemur frowned and looked down at the penguin, though he quickly changed it for a smugly face.

"Oh, hello, flightless bird." He whispered "I've come to help you feel better; you see, as a king, I've got some privileges with the Sky Spirits, so I can ask them to cure you if you-"

"I'm not sick" He said, rolling his eyes. "And I don't need to be cured, nor I'm interested in your 'Sky Spirit's treatment', thank you."

"Oh, come on! It only requires you to do something for me."

"I said no, thanks"

"But-" Before he could finish, Kowalski slammed the door shut in his face. "Hey! Listen to me! I'm sure you'll like what I'm going to say"

The bird sighed. If Julien was already there, the show had already finished, and the others would be back soon, just after they had cleared everything. There was no point in risking himself and going out again. He looked back at Private. To be honest, he didn't left because he wanted to talk with Eva, but because he wanted to be away from the kid. He felt… uncomfortable.

It was like a sensation of being with some kind of stranger. He felt like he couldn't trust him, despite being one of his brothers and closest friends. It just felt weird to talk with him. It was as if he was angry at him.

Was he?

No, he wasn't. He had no reason to be mad at him. And even when he knew that, he couldn't help it. Probably Private had noticed too, because he had seemed a lot shyer when he talked to him earlier. That or he was just really worried for him. Both were bad things.

Poor, young Private. Such a nice soul, he didn't deserve anyone to be mad at him. And-

"What are you doing up?"

The voice startled him, and he gave a little jump of surprise. When he turned around, Skipper had a frown and his flippers were crossed. Rico, who was a step behind, looked sympathetically at him, asking with his gaze if he was alright.

"Julien came and was talking too laud, so I asked him to leave since Private is sleeping."

"What did ringtail want?"

He shrugged before answering. "He said his Sky spirits could help me if I do something for him."

The other two rolled their eyes, but made no comment as they entered. "Good thing you kicked him out, but that doesn't change the fact that you should be resting."

"I've already had a lot of rest" He said approaching the others.

Skipper stared at Kowalski. He looked much better –at least, not longer like a zombie– than earlier. Rico seemed uncomfortable at the glare contest, and tried to break the silence.

"'o… 'u 'kay?"

"Well, my head is still throbbing and I'm still feeling sore, but the dizziness has stopped and I'm not that tired anymore; so I guess you could say that."

"That's good. I've already talked with the hippies, were staying one more day so we can all get some rest. The next show is not until Sunday, so we still got five days to arrive."

"So… are we going to see the city?"

Rico finally seemed happy at the other's suggestion. He looked at Skipper expectantly, obviously hoping he would say yes at that.

Skipper thought it for some seconds (with Rico giving him that face, he felt seriously pressured) but in the end, he shook his head.

"Negatory" Rico's face fell. "You still look like someone sucked half of your blood. We are staying here and you are having some rest."

 _And you'll need it, because I am so going to kill you with some training._

Kowalski would had just stayed quiet and nodded, if he just hadn't turned his head towards the other bird.

Damn it.

He was doing _that_ face. Big eyes, beak corners pointing downwards, flippers almost touching the ground…

 _Damn you, Rico._

"You can go…" Skipper, who had already walked some steps away, turned his head. "I mean, Private and Rico really wanted to go, so if I'm the reason we can't, I can stay here so you guys have some fun."

Now the other two were surprised. "Have you forgotten the penguin credo, soldier? We never let one of us swim alone."

Ah, right…

"I'll not be swimming alone…" _Think Kowalski, think…_ "I can be with… Maurice?"

…

 _Maurice, seriously?_

"With Maurice?"

Rico gave him a look that said _seriously, buddy?_ Okay, he needed to work on taking quick decisions.

"Well, yeah… I mean, is better than the hippies or Julien, right? And, I can also play cards with the chimps."

Skipper and Rico looked at each other. The demolitions expert shrugged, that sounded okay for him. Skipper looked back at his lieutenant and sighed.

"Agh, fine. But we're leaving no more than a couple of hours, understood?"

Both subordinates smiled. "Yes, sir"

* * *

"So, you want me to stay here with you?"

"Just until we return" Skipper answered for his second in command. "Can I trust you, lemur?"

"Say" Private looked at Maurice with worry "Will Julien be okay with you being here?"

"He said he was going on some kind of date with Sonia, so I'm free"

"Good, then, we're leaving"

"I'm sorry you can't come with us, K'walski"

He smiled and put a flipper in the private's shoulder. "Don't need to be, Private. I'll rather stay here and rest a bit more, I think I need it. You go have fun."

The other just nodded and smiled weakly. Skipper and Rico waved a last goodbye before turning on their jet packs.

"We'll bring you something when we come back, K'walski!"

And then, they were gone. Kowalski turned back to the lemur, who had his arms crossed, no longer amused by the penguins antics.

"So…" He cleared his throat. "If you wanna leave to do your… lemurish activities-"

"Nah, I'm staying." The smart penguin seemed confused, so he elaborated before the other one objected. "As I said, Julien is out with his girlfriend and Mort is following them trying to get to his feet, so I really got nothing better to do. Also, I don't want Skipper to beat me up if he knows that I left you all by yourself."

Okay, he couldn't object with that. "Right, so, you wanna play something?"

"Play what?"

Ah, this was going to be a long day…

* * *

"Are you sure you wanna test that one, Rico?" Private asked worriedly. That explosive seemed a bit exaggerated. However, Rico only nodded, tongue out of his beak in excitement.

"You know, Rico" Skipper took the explosive out of his sergeant flippers, causing him to turn the corners of his beak downwards. "As much as I appreciate your enthusiasm for destruction, let's leave this place in one piece, just for this time."

"Oww…"

"It's really a nice view form here" Private looked down at the cars. "Poor K'walski, he's missing a nice time."

"Don't be sad, Private" Skipper said, still looking at Rico to make sure he wasn't using anything way to destructive. "He can always search photos on the laptop with his… wireless… solar… powery... you know, that thing."

"I know, but…" His eyes grew big as he got an idea. "I know! We can't take photos without a camera, but we can sure draw the view for him"

Rico nodded enthusiastically. How great was that! First he got to make lots of sushi, then he got to make some drawings. This Kowalski problem was surely kinda funny.

"That's a great idea, young Private"

* * *

"You got any threes?"

"No, go fish" Maurice mumbled something and took a card from the deck, making Kowalski smile before asking. "Got any nines?"

"Nope"

He took his card. Honestly, for a mammal, Maurice was a fast learner. Also, unlike his annoying king, he was a lot more quiet and calm. It was a surprisingly nice change of pace. He was actually enjoying this time, forgetting completely his former plans of trying to communicate with the North Wind.

"So…" Maurice started, taking another card. "Why did you lose consciousness yesterday?"

Kowalski looked up from his hand to look at the lemur. There was nothing other than curiousness in his voice and his eyes. Well, this wasn't classified information, right?

"I have been… avoiding some vital activities like sleeping and eating."

The aye-aye raised his eyebrow. "So, you're saying you haven't eaten nor slept in days?"

"I have, but, not in the right amount for it to be healthy…" Now, that didn't make it better. "I mean, I'm tired, but I just can get myself to sleep properly; and about the eating part, despite being hungry I sometimes feel like the food is not tasty at all and I don't like that."

Maurice didn't quit his gaze form him, which made Kowalski kind of nervous, but he finally spoke after some more seconds.

"Julien sometimes feels like that when something is bothering him. Is something bothering you?"

He looked at Maurice. Again, there were no signs of malice in his expression. He looked completely serious about this. Maybe he could...

"Well…"

* * *

"Wohoo!"

The sound of a sudden crash just outside the carriage made Maurice jump in his place. "What was that?"

"Sounds like they're back"

Indeed, when they opened the door Rico was in the floor, his Jet pack some feet away from him. Soon, Private and Skipper landed, too. Private quickly run at his psycho friends side.

"Rico! Are you okay?"

"A, y'a" He answered getting up.

"Guess you officially win the race, Rico. But next time, try not to kill yourself in the process."

The maniac laughed nervously, but still happily. Since he was fine, they turned their attention to the other two, who were still looking at them from the door.

"Well, I guess I'll go" Maurice said. "See ya'"

Kowalski waved goodbye and tuned to his friends. "Hey"

"Hello, K'walski. How are you feeling?"

"Much better, Private."

"Good, 'cause the boys have a surprise for you."

"A surprise?"

Rico grabbed him by the arm and tossed him to the bed, then made him sit still as he regurgitated a bunch of papers. Private approached them and sat in front of him, smiling. Skipper stayed some feet apart, arms crossed in front of his chest but there was still a smile in his chest.

"Ta-dah!"

Rico showed him one of the papers. It had a drawing, apparently of the bridge. It wasn't perfect, but was good enough for him to visualize the idea.

"Rico and I made some drawings for you, since you couldn't go, we thought it would be nice if you could at least see it like this."

He smiled and took the drawing. It was good, and he could recognize it as one of Rico's drawings, Private must have colored it.

Rico showed another one, this time the point of view had changed; apparently they were up at the bridge, since he could see lots of cars and some water. And so, Rico kept showing him drawings, quite eagerly in fact.

 _There must be one he really wants to show._

Indeed, once he got to a specific drawing, his tongue slipped out and he smiled widely. He put it just inches away from Kowalski's face, so he had to pull back a bit. When he saw it, he understood the other's eagerness.

"Kaboom kaboom!"

Well, of course. The drawing showed the moment after the explosion, the water rising up some meters, it actually looked kinda nice, like an enormous fountain.

"Li'e?"

"What? Oh, yes, it looks good. Would have been nice to see it in live, though"

Rico continued showing his art, and Kowalski seemed to be genuinely enjoying the nice gesture. Rico was getting excited, as he was describing with sound and acting the explosions he had made there. Private soon felt like he should let them enjoy this time, and approached Skipper.

"They seem to be enjoying this, don't they?" He said happily. After all, these two just had two moods together: or they were the best friends ever or they were trying to kill each other. So it was nice to see them getting along that good.

"Yeah…" Skipper trailed off. They were indeed looking happy. That was good… right?

… Right?

He couldn't take his eyes away from them. He had always envied those two; the way they could understand each other perfectly with just one look, the way they always work at unison, completely synchronized, the way they interact…

Like real friends.

Okay, he was friends with them, too. But with Kowalski, it was somehow different. It was as if the options guy didn't wanted to be that close to his captain, and preferred to be more openly emotional with his other teammates.

"Private, let's make some recon."

"Ah? Right now?"

He couldn't stand it. He needed to take that thought out of his mind, quickly. Why did it hurt? The idea of Kowalski not really liking him felt like, like…

… like a heartache.

* * *

 **I should really stop posting chapters when I'm tired, or wait 'till morning to check spelling and grammar... but, you know, I'm sorry 'bout the mistakes.**

 **pinguingo: I'm guessing it _will_ have a lemon, can't promise anything. And, 'bout writing in spanish, I've thought about it but I've grown so used to some phrases and expressions of these guys in english that I'm not sure how they say them in the spanish dub *sad*. I'll try watching some episodes in spanish to get myself in idea, an maybe I'll translate them. **

**Zyar: Thank you so much! Ah, I love brotherly love too... they're so cute. Maybe next chapter will have more of that stuff. Anyway, again thanks a lot.**

 **HunterAtNight: Aw, thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it :)**

 **So... yeah, thanks for reading everyone :)**


End file.
